20s Were a Shit Show, Lets Make 30’s Much Better…
10 Life Lessons to Excel in your 30s: Inspired by reading a shit ton of Mark Manson…
I’ll do my best to share some life lessons from personal experience, what I’ve read from gazillions of books, and really, some guidance from certain mentors, including my own Father, so here goes…
As I did so well, and I’m sure so many are familiar with, my 20s were pretty much a shit show and I managed to “FUX” them up pretty good. They consisted of a roller coaster of emotion with relationships, spending $$ I didn’t have on trips, winning nearly $70k in one sitting, and blowing it within a month (I don’t recommend this at all), going to Vegas monthly, getting shit faced in Cancun and Cabo San Lucas, and being a real dick to people etc.
Frankly, I was really a juvenile in a grown mans’ body and it does pain me to think back on life, how I mis-managed it, but more importantly, the people I might have hurt along the way. But those are EXPERIENCES that nobody can ever take away from me and having a half-assed moment of clarity mixed in with some self-awareness, I did start to learn from my mistakes.
So, here we go…Below are 10 Life Lessons to Excel in your 30s:
1.Start saving for retirement, NOW…not later. Whole Life Policies (Life Insurance), 401ks, ROTH IRA, Stocks, mortgages, its all pretty boring really, BUT its a necessary boring and will set up a foundation for your future success and retirement. You don’t want to be stuck living paycheck to paycheck when you’re 75 do you?
Furthermore, all of these “options” revolves around the notion to SAVE money. If you haven’t started saving, SAVE NOW…even putting 10% of your paycheck away into a savings account or some type of ROTH IRA is monumental to your future. If you live paycheck to paycheck, I highly recommend you reassess your spending habits, find where all your money is going and start to live below your means. If you live paycheck to paycheck, get a side job, nightly bartending or drive for LYFT/UBER…or even deliver food for Dominoes. ANYTHING to make some extra $1k-$2k per month. AND PUT IT AWAY INTO SAVINGS.
2. Start taking Care of your Health NOW, not later…again, this is one that people might “put off” and work their younger bodies to the bone and neglect their health. BAD idea as I’ve read of MANY successful business men and women, teachers, firefighters, Police etc that did just this, only to have strokes, heart attacks, diabetes and cancerous conditions due to their many years of shitty sleeping habits, poor dieting, and lack of exercise. WHAT IS THE POINT OF MAKING A MILLION DOLLARS IF YOU CAN’T EVEN LIVE TO ENJOY IT!!?
3. DON’T bother with people who don’t treat you well, and be grateful for those people that bring value to your life. Just remember this saying: “Great people contribute happiness, Bad people provide experience.” Keep it simple…not everyone cares about what you’re doing, actually, most really don’t, but those that do and want to contribute to your purpose and mission in life, they will turn up, TRUST ME. That includes family and the friends you have now. There’s nothing wrong with gaining new friends or re-creating your circle. It’s the only way to improve your life if all you do is hang with toxic waste. Cut em out…focus on your 30’s and purpose for the better, and the good ones will start to show up.
4. You always have the freedom to CHOOSE: You can choose to be a “victim” of your circumstances or a “victor.” But honestly, the CHOICE comes down to you. If you are not where you want to be financially, health-wise, relationships, etc…it is directly correlated to the CHOICES YOU have made. And whether you want to stay in the pit of misery, or finally make a real change and alter your actions. Shit happens to us that we can’t explain nor actually directly chose, but our reactions to those things are completely in our own control. Embrace this, and you will start to CHANGE for the better.
5. Go to bed earlier, and wake up earlier…this is a tough one, even for myself. As I am prone to insomnia and consider myself a “night owl.” But do something in what I call a reverse-sleep pattern. If you want to eventually go to bed by 10pm every night, that is a great goal. But it won’t happen in one day. If you naturally go to sleep at 2am, try using the first week to fall asleep 30 minutes earlier than the previous week. Or at least hop into bed. So…for week 1, crawl into bed at 1:30am. Week 2: Crawl into bed at 1am. Week 3: Crawl into bed at 12:30 am and so forth. Eventually you will build a sleeping pattern habit until you hit 10pm. It’s a formula that has worked for me, I recommend it.
6. Cut out the weekends of partying and getting drunk: You’re not 21 anymore. HELLO! You’re actually a full functioning adult. How about spend the weekends working on a new hobby or creating something new that you’ve always wanted to try. Cut out the party people in your life, the bad influences, the drugs, drink more water. Your old ass needs it. When you hit 30, your body will begin to really tell you that the late nights of drinking and staying up late are becoming a problem, especially when you wake up the next day and everything hurts after dehydrating it the previous night.
7. Be good to the people you care about: Start showing up with and for your friends, and be reliable. You matter, and your presence matters. Take pride in the many weddings and baby showers and time spent with those you most care about…30s is the age when those closest to you will start settling down, and making families, be a part of that and take great pride, for you may become a God parent to them as well. And that is a great honor. The best people give you amazing memories.
8. You can’t have everything, so focus on just a FEW things and become a master at them: I remember in my 20’s, winning lots of money, delusional about being a world-class Poker player as well as world-class Rockstar at night. The problem was, I had the itch and the drive, but I didn't’ have the discipline to focus on just Poker as a craft. I figured I had all the time in the world, I was delusional. I felt like in my 20’s, that was the case with many things. I would be this, then that, then accomplish this and marry a Model…ya, well life doesn’t happen that way, and that’s okay.
But reflection upon it now in my 30’s, I hone in on what I really want, and set small term goals. I write things out on how to accomplish them, I even journal and reflect upon it…how to get better at it, what books to read, what activities to do to improve. Lesson learned, I can’t have it all, but I can try my best and really give relentless effort at one certain thing. I might not become the greatest at it, but the time spent and the action given, I am very proud in the end. And I believe in our 30s, that we actually do become so much more grateful in the journey, and not the actual destination, once we arrive there!
9. Never be afraid of taking risks, even in our 30’s, hell, even 40’s, you can still change: “Many readers commented on how society tells us that by 30 we should have things “figured out” — our career situation, our dating/marriage situation, our financial situation and so on. But this isn’t true. And, in fact, dozens and dozens of readers implored to not let these social expectations of “being an adult” deter you from taking some major risks and starting over.” -Mark Manson
Mark Manson is a pure genius in my opinion. And what he says smashes the hammer on the head. It still baffles me that society has nearly “programmed” us to think that we should have everything figured out. A career, marriage (or failed ones these days), the perfect house with the white-picket fence…just utter crap that we were raised on and influenced by American consumerism.
This simply isn’t true. What’s worse, many people in their 30’s stay stuck in a job they hate or a situation they loath when deep down, they knew it was never right for them 10 years ago when they first started it. NEVER be afraid to change and take a risk in doing so. Your relationship sucks? Find ways to improve on it and make a change, or else, do both parties a favor and end the daily toxic nightmare.
This one hits hard, because we are constantly reminded on social media and our snap chats of what others are doing and where “we should be” in comparison. And that is complete bull shit. Step away from the herd, take a risk, make a big change for the better, you might actually identify yourself once again, as an individual, a human…who has personal dreams and ambitions.
10. Invest in Your family; It’s 100% worth it: You must find it kind of comical and maybe a little confusing that I would put this next after somewhat “bashing” marriage. In actuality, I put this after because it is the CHANGE that one needs to actually find that perfect person and/or create a family. Marriage (or domestic partnerships) and families are a beautiful thing, if they are constantly growing, and are non-abusive and not toxic.
Spend more time with your loved ones, mainly your parents. Try and talk with them at least once each week. Remember, they still always see you as their little kid, no matter what. They were there when you took your first steps, caught your first cold, and destroyed their family room couches with sharpie marker. They love you, and always will. Don’t ever take them for granted. Invest in your family constantly, because the feeling of real love is priceless, and it’s something that money cannot buy.
When creating a family of your own, take amazing pride in being there for them. Your work successes, award ceremonies, and top of the leader board sales list can’t even compare to raising a mini human of yourself. Always make the time and energy to put forth towards your family unit.
So that’s the most I could put down folks, for now…but I still have 5 more years of maturing and reflecting to do. But I will say this…although getting out of bed can be a choir as the “check knees” lights come on and the old back takes 15 minutes to warm up, I am very thankful for my (our) 30s and for the information I was able to receive by talking to different people, reading some materials, and listening to my peers. I hope you got some value out of this too and continue to use your 30s as the new 20’s and really LIVE.
Bye, for now.
- Jake Richardson
- IG: freedomofjake
